Driving Dreams from Grief to Hope
By Nara Shin
Alia is a strong woman who is living in Spokane with her four children. Originally from Afghanistan, she immigrated to the United States on February 15, 2020, as a Special Immigrant Visa for Afghans (SIV) recipient.
Arriving in the States during the pandemic, Alia faced challenges connecting with the community due to language barriers and lack of transportation. However, with her husband’s help, she joined the refugee community and the Mahima Project (Thrive’s women empowerment program) to participate in beading classes and tea time with other women.
In the spring of 2023, shortly after giving birth to her fourth child, Alia received tragic news. Her husband, Wahid, was diagnosed with cancer and given only six weeks to live. Wahid, who had worked as a kitchen supervisor for the U.S. embassy in Afghanistan, was the family's primary breadwinner and driver. The news was devastating for Alia and her family, and she felt hopeless.
However, Pingala, Thrive's women’s program coordinator, connected Alia with a volunteer named Jeanette to support the family. Jeanette became a crucial support system for Alia.
I met the Aslami family several hours before Wahid died. Pingala had asked if I was willing to offer him some assurance that my friends and I would help look out for his young family. They were all gathered around his bedside at Deaconess Hospital to say goodbye, and he was very concerned about how his family would fare after his passing. Alia didn’t yet know English or how to drive, and Wahid earned the family’s sole income as Alia had just given birth to their fourth child two months earlier.
- Jeanette
On the same day when Jeanette met the family for the first time, Wahid passed away, leaving notes expressing his regret for not being able to continue supporting his family and asking Jeanette to look after them. Alia faced the daunting task of being a single mother in a foreign country, struggling with language barriers and the responsibility of raising four children.
Since Wahid's passing, Jeanette has been a steadfast support for Alia and her children, taking them to the Lake Coeur d’Alene where Wahid used to take the family every summer and visiting places that held memories of him. Before school started, the kids and Jeanette explored their classrooms and met with their teachers while Alia tended to the baby at home. In August, Jeanette and her friend Deanna hosted a “family shower” at Colbert Presbyterian Church to welcome the new baby and present the other kids with back-to-school items.
“A year later, I consider the entire family dear friends…we became true friends,” said Jeanette.
Alia's eldest daughters, Moqadas, and Maryam have shown remarkable maturity. With the support of Jeanette and her teacher, Chris, at Salk Middle School, Moqadas has gained confidence as a teenage girl wearing a hijab, celebrating diversity, and sharing her story proudly. She has shared her story as an immigrant at Mahima Volunteer Appreciation Dinner with Chris’ help in making a visual presentation. Maryam is also the workhorse in the family, supporting Alia, Moqadas, and her two younger siblings.
Despite her ongoing grief, Alia is also determined to provide for her children. She is learning how to stand again and walk slowly with the help of Jeanette and Pingala. She is working towards making her and Moqadas’ dream come true—becoming self-sufficient by getting a driver’s license and finding a job to support her family as an independent woman.
Jeanette said, “Very often, I found myself on the receiving end of these encounters. I believe that’s one of the best-kept secrets of volunteering to help refugees. We often get more than we give. For instance, I absolutely love to listen to the children’s happy stories about their dad, who liked to prank them and make them laugh. Sadly, I never got to know him that way. I watched baby Mhasa’s eyes become even wider as she took some of her first steps. And even in her deep grief, Alia, a skilled cook, has shown me how to make some of her favorite dishes and always sets an extra place if I happen to be there at mealtime. What’s really better than having several smiling faces race to greet you at the door?”
Alia, Alia’s eldest daughter Moqadas, and her teacher Chris are pictured together. Alia requested to make her face blurred.
“I believe our role in life is in large part to help other people—especially the marginalized or struggling—no recognition required. So having even a small part in making someone’s journey lighter is a huge reward in itself,” Jeanette said.
Every day, Thrive continues to empower families like Alia's, helping them build new lives and find hope in challenging circumstances. Join us in making a difference. As a supporter, donor, or volunteer. Help empower families like Alia's to build new lives, achieve self-sufficiency, and find hope in challenging circumstances.
